Around the men’s Grand Final time, family violence spikes significantly

The Grand Final is not a celebration for everyone. Know the risks, know the signs and know what you can do.

The most exciting time of the year for footy fans can be a time of increased fear and danger for women and children who are at an even higher risk of family violence, particularly in the hours following the final siren.

A big game, alcohol, high emotions or an argument don't cause someone to use violence. Using violence is always a choice. 

Family violence is unacceptable, will not be tolerated, and has no place in our communities or in our sporting culture.  

• Family Violence is a deeply gendered issue. Data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics shows that 95% of all victims (regardless of gender) have experienced violence from a male perpetrator.  Harmful gender norms that tell men they must be aggressive, dominant and controlling are a major contributor to violence experienced by men and boys from other men.  
• Intimate partner violence is the leading contributor to death, disability and illness in Australian women aged 18–44.
• Family violence can affect children and teenagers even when violence is not directed at them.
• In Victoria, 2 in 5 women and 1 in 4 children presenting to hospital for family violence sustain a brain injury, which can have lifelong impacts and require ongoing health and disability support. 

Family and gender-based violence is more common than many of us realise — that it’s not just physical violence, and it is never acceptable.

What is family violence?

Domestic and family violence includes physical abuse (hitting, pushing, throwing objects), but also extends to a range of coercive or controlling behaviours that cause fear, limit full a person’s participation in society and diminish their dignity, access to choice and sense of pride in their identity. Domestic and family violence is a pattern of behaviour used over time to control or dominate. This pattern of behaviour can be known as coercive control.  

What causes family violence?

Gambling, alcohol misuse, and strong emotions are risk factors for family violence, and environments that add to these risks include male-dominated, aggression-condoning settings like sport. However, these factors do not cause violence or abusive behaviour.

Violence and abuse are a choice…just as non-violence is a choice. Berry Street Yooralla believes that people using violence can choose to make safer choices. Support is available.

What can be done to prevent family violence? 

Knowing what family and gender-based violence looks like is an important first step in recognising it and responding safely. Resources and support are available via this website if you’re worried for your or someone else’s safety – or if you just want to know more.

Berry Street Yooralla is doing everything we can, but our services are not well enough funded to meet the need that exists, and we can’t do it alone. Sign up to the Berry Street e-news to keep in touch with us on what we’re doing to tackle family violence and how you can help. 

If you’re worried about the way you’re behaving in your relationship or family, support is available. Using violence or controlling behaviour is a choice, and change is possible, but it takes responsibility, honesty and the right help. Whether something else has raised concerns or you’ve started questioning your own behaviour, reaching out is an important first step.

It can be difficult to know what to do when you are feeling afraid, unsure if your relationship is safe, or trying to protect yourself or your family members. You may be unsure if what you’re experiencing is family violence, or you may simply know that something just doesn’t feel right. Support is available to help you understand what’s happening, explore your options and make decisions that are right for you. You can seek help at any stage, whether you want things to change, are thinking about leaving, or just want someone to talk to.

You don’t have to navigate this alone. Trained support and resources are available.

Berry Street Yooralla offers free specialist family violence services to victim survivors, including LGBTIQA+ people and children, who have experienced any form of family violence. Our family violence services are in Melbourne’s northern suburbs and Central Highlands (Western Victoria).

If you’re worried that a friend or family member may be experiencing violence, abuse or controlling behaviour, it can be difficult to know how to help. You might have noticed changes in their behaviour, seen things that concern you, or they may have told you about some of the things going on. Your support can make a real difference. By listening without judgement, taking their concerns seriously and helping them connect with the right support, you can help them make informed choices about their safety and what happens next. 

If you’re worried about the way a friend or family member is treating their partner, children or other members of their family, it can be hard to know what to say or do. You might have noticed controlling, intimidating or disrespectful behaviour – or you may have noticed the way they speak about their partners or family shows disrespect.  

Knowing what family and gender-based violence looks like is an important first step in recognising it and responding safely. However, you don’t need to have all the answers to make a big difference. By recognising the signs, responding without excusing the behaviour and encouraging them to seek support, you can help them take responsibility and move towards safer, respectful behaviour.  

To learn more about family violence, the signs to look out for, and how to help those in need read the resources below.