Opening hearts and homes: William and Betty’s foster care journey

During Foster Care Week (14th - 20th September) we’re celebrating the incredible contribution foster carers make in the lives of children and young people. Every day, carers across Victoria open their hearts and homes to provide children with the safety, stability and care they need to thrive. You can view this short video message from our CEO Terry Symonds sharing why this week is so important.

To mark the occasion, we spoke with William and Betty, two of Berry Street’s incredible foster carers from Melbourne’s northern suburbs. Since beginning their fostering journey in 2019, they have cared for 17 children across 33 placements.

William and Betty have generously shared their experiences with us, reflecting on what drew them to fostering, the challenges and rewards of the role, and why they believe more people should consider stepping into this life-changing role.

Why did you choose to become a foster carer?

We discussed fostering when we were first dating, and it kind of evolved from there. We already had kids in our lives, including nieces and nephews, and enjoyed spending time with them. Fostering gave us the opportunity to spend time with children who could benefit from our time and support.

What has your experience been with fostering? How many children have you fostered, etc.

We started fostering in 2019 and have since had 17 different children stay with us over 33 placements. The shortest placement was one night and the longest was more than 6 months. Sometimes we look after a child for a weekend to give their regular carers a break. We get told a bit of background about each child, but when the doorbell rings, you never quite know what they are going to be like. They are often shy to begin with but warm up pretty quickly once we show them their room and ask them about their interests. If only they knew we are just as nervous about meeting them as they are about meeting us!

How do you know if you’re the right person to foster a child?

If you care about children and can provide them with a safe and supportive home, then you are the right person to become a foster carer. Foster carers come in all shapes and sizes. We know young, single people who foster and older couples who foster. There really isn’t a blueprint for what makes a good foster carer. It’s definitely a commitment, but it’s made clear from the start that if we don’t feel comfortable taking a child - either because we’re too busy or we don’t think it’s a good fit - it’s better for everybody if we are honest and say this placement isn’t for us.

What if I can’t handle their behaviours or trauma?

In our experience, kids in foster care are mostly just regular kids who have been let down by adults in their lives. Sometimes their parents were unable to care for them properly. Sometimes they have suffered abuse or other deeply traumatic experiences. What all of them need, regardless of their background, is comfort and joy. That means giving them emotional support when they need it but also trying to put a smile on their face. Our strategy is to try different approaches until we find the ones that work best for that particular child. Sometimes they want more control over their lives, so offering them clear choices can often help. Other times they are craving attention and interaction. Each child is different. Be patient and work with them to find a strategy that works.

What if the child doesn’t like me?

The thing to remember with fostering is that when you first meet, you are two strangers thrown together, often at a moment’s notice. That’s not an easy introduction for anyone. I guess you have to consider it from their point of view. They have been removed from their birth family, through no fault of their own. How would anyone feel in that situation? The main aim is to build a bond with the child so that you can live together and respect each other.

Did you have any doubts about becoming a foster carer? How did you overcome them?

Absolutely! Our first placement was a 5-year-old girl and her 3-year-old brother. It was a weird feeling, having responsibility for these two young children all of a sudden. We were nervous and anxious, constantly worrying that something would go wrong. But since then our confidence has grown significantly. We both have different, but complementary strengths when it comes to caring for kids and we make a good team. Thinking back about that first placement, it’s a nice feeling to realise how much our skills and confidence have improved over time.

How has it felt when you say goodbye to the children you have been fostering?

Saying goodbye to children who you’ve grown to know and love is hard, there is no sugar coating it. But we know from the start that our role is temporary. When children in care go back to their parents, that’s a sign of success. It doesn’t always work out and sometimes the children end up back in foster care. But our job isn’t to keep them as long as we can, it’s to keep them until their family situation makes it feasible for them to return home.

What are some of the changes you’ve seen in the children you’ve fostered?

Children often turn up without clear boundaries, for example, no dinner time routine and no set bedtime. That’s pretty much the first thing we do, we have a conversation with them about house “rules” but ask them to suggest what they think the rules should be. We come up with the rules together, so they are having a say. It’s amazing how children thrive with clear boundaries. It’s clear most of them want clearer rules and routines in their lives. But what’s really amazing is seeing kids grow in confidence. On day one they are quiet and shy, and by day three they are telling us the most outlandish and funny stories with a big smile on their face!

Why would you recommend fostering?

Fostering isn’t for everyone. But if you’ve got a spare bedroom and you’ve ever thought about doing it, then register for an information session with Berry Street or another local foster agency and get the process started. You are completely in control of which children you agree to look after and how often you do it. It’s a bit daunting at first but after a while you get more confident and realise that it’s not hard as you might think. It’s also a good excuse to spend more time watching cartoons and playing games!

Interested in becoming a Foster Carer?

There is rapidly growing demand for foster carers in Victoria. In the 2024 Census Report, 584 children were currently living in foster care households across Victoria. Nearly 40% of these children were aged under five.

If you are interested in learning more about the process of becoming a foster carer, please enquire with us today.